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Personal Assistants For The Rich

On 04.24.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Electronics, Luxury Food, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, Luxury Real Estate, By timd

When I think about all the things I would love to do if I were rich I inevitably consider how much I would just love to have a personal assistant. Someone who might do my laundry and all of my paperwork, make sure my bills are paid and clean out my email from time to time.

Basically a personal assistant or better still an entire staff of assistants doing all of the day to day things no one wants to do is the ultimate rich people thing to have. Someone who can make sure there is always toilet paper in the bathroom and who can take dictation of your latest Tweets and Facebook statuses. Perhaps some of you might prefer a maid but that would be crazy. A personal assistant is at your beck and call and all times. A maid comes and goes. A personal assistant will want your home to be neat and organized simply to assure their job goes smoothly.

I recently responded to a Craig’s List ad looking for someone to help a fellow break up with his girlfriend. He was offering $35. Now imagine he simply had someone on staff ready to do that?

Tagged with: rich people thing

Rich People Things With Your Tax Return?

On 04.20.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Electronics, Luxury Food, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, By timd

When my tax return came in this past week I felt like a real hot shot with a pocket full of cash and a head full of ways to spend that cash. Sadly, $1,300 does not go quite as far as my imagination would have it go. I had grand ideas about a new wardrobe or some sort of lavish vacation. Instead the rich people things I ended up “splurging” on were stuff like magazines, headphones and sunglasses, not exactly the stuff that my “ball so hard” attitude was getting primed for.

Money management is the thing that just bewilders me the most. I manage most of the time on my paychecks but as soon as a little bit of extra cash comes in I feel compelled to get rid of it as fast as possible. It is as if my body has a direct revulsion to having any money at all, like it’s very presence in my life may infest my body with lice.

Luckily I have not blown all of my money on meager purchases. Next month I might be able to pay bills without feeling the angst of late fees. What could be more of a baller rich people thing than that?!

Tagged with: rich people thing • rich people things

Big Money All At Once, Mo’ Problems?

On 04.03.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Electronics, Luxury Food, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, Luxury Real Estate, Luxury Vacation, By timd

A friend of mine was a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire months ago and the episodes(there were two) aired yesterday and today respectively. In the interim he received none of the money he won and was strictly forbidden from revealing his winnings to anyone.

Getting the money was implicit on the show airing. So while he knew his coffers were newly cushioned with $63,000 he had no ability to spend it on all the rich people things he had once fantasized about. In that time period he managed to rein in his expectations and think about what truly made sense to buy.

Getting a big pile of big money in a short period of time can be a huge blessing but as any number of Lottery winning life casualties and MC Hammer can teach you it can also be a curse. While you may feel compelled to drop a bunch of money competing with the wealthiest among us having money is a responsibility.

As a result getting a few thousand dollars should not inspire you to indulge in all matter of pricey expenditures. Instead it should inspire you to invest and turn your pile into an even bigger pile. One that can cushion you for a long time.

Tagged with: big money • rich people things

If You Were Made Into A Life-Sized Ice Sculpture, Could You Handle It?

On 03.27.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, By timd

Chances are I will never have an ice sculpture carved in my visage. This is probably for the best though I’m sure having an ice sculpture made of one’s self can feel gratifying it also clearly has it’s pitfalls. For example I do not like the way I look in photos or on video, were they to make me into a life sized sculpture of ice wouldn’t I once again simply look at it as accentuation how fat I look? Would I not feel embarrassed by the hair line or by the dumb look on my face?

Having an ice sculpture made of one’s self is the sort of rich people things we normal folks on the bottom of the food chain never even get to consider. But then it begs the question has money insulated these folks so fundamentally from their sense of their own inadequacies that they could look at an accurate ice based depiction of themselves without feeling bad about how they look? Are rich people so divorced from reality that they are happy with the way people may possibly see them?

If this is true then that old adage about big money not buying happiness has just been completely debunked in my mind.

Tagged with: big money • rich people things

Live Like A Mad Man

On 03.21.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Living, By timd

The return of Mad Men means a few things to me. It means that my favorite television obsession is back to fill my heart with glee and my head with twists and turns of emotional intrigue. It also means that, sitting as I often am in my plaid shorts and filthy old t-shirts drinking Steel Reserve out of 24 ounce cans, a deep and unending sense of economic emasculation is afoot.

I want to drink the fine scotches and wear the perfectly fit suits that Don Draper wears but I simply do not have the economic fortitude or luck that requires. Instead I am stuck drinking and dressing like the poor person I mostly am. Luxury items are not made available to guys like me.

To wear personalized suits and drink of the finest bourbons one must be quite affluent. It gets even worse when you consider that a vintage suit is only even really worth buying if it is fitted for you. No one wants to look like a kid in their dad’s suit playing dress up.

Those vintage scotches are not cheap either. In all to live like Don Draper today you would have to make a salary in the mid six figures at least. With that I plan on ditching my current identity and trying to live out the American dream which apparently requires identity theft.

Tagged with: don draper • mad men • worth buying

The Smug Folks of Antiques Roadshow

On 03.13.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, By timd

"Oh, my!"

I enjoy watching Antiques Roadshow. People buy old vintage items for the simple curiosity and collect-ability of them and then they innocently take these items that just “fell into their laps” to get appraised only to be blown away by the tens of thousands of dollars they just happen to be worth.

Basically I think everyone on Antiques Roadshow is a fraud. If you had a chair you bought for twelve bucks at a yard sale and suddenly found out it was worth the price of a respectable college education chances are you would faint, flip out, or possibly even have a major heart attack.

These people, who clearly seem to be privileged one-percenters used to spending big politely smirk at their huge profits. Politely but smugly. At most you may see an older lady say “Oh, my!” As if she has hit the BINGO at her local church early in the evening. It’s disturbing and I don’t like these people.

Yet, I being a poor person obsessed with luxury items and new found wealth marvel at this show. I marvel at these smug jerks with their piles of suddenly valuable items. I get so mad.

Tagged with: antiques roadshow • luxury items • spending big

Well Made Instruments Can Be Luxury Items

On 03.06.12, In Luxury Accessories, Luxury Living, By timd

If you are a musician or instrument collector with a penchant for spending big you probably already avoid the Guitar Centers and Sam Ashes of the world for more luxurious shops specializing in beautiful, restored instruments that remind you of the things about guitars you fell in love with in the beginning. If you collect high end guitars you probably already know about Mandolin Brothers.

Mandolin Brothers is a world renowned music shop with a wealth of new and restored instruments. From older acoustic instruments like mandolins and ukuleles to a wide variety of axes from all of the most preferred guitar brands, Fender, Gibson, Rickenbacker and more. The store has been frequented by Beatles, Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews, Phish and so many more huge names. The store is also a favorite spot for well known guitar collectors like Conan O’Brien and The Hangover’s Ed Helms. The quality and selection of instruments at this place is staggering enough that it is something of a tourist destination for folks who will likely never be able to pull a Rickenbacker twelve string off the shelf and buy it.

These luxury items are a great way to flaunt your wealth in a fun and creative way. The very rich can appreciate beauty too.

Check out Mandolin Brothers.

Tagged with: luxury items • spending big

Spending Big on a PC

On 02.24.12, In Luxury Electronics, By HeinreichS

About two and a half years ago I was dedicated to a single cause and I would save as much money as I could in order to achieve it: my goal was to build my own PC. It would be a gaming rig that could play the most graphically intense games at high settings. I would buy every part and build it myself. After several months of saving and just as many months researching, I bought and built my PC. It cost me about $1000 in the end. For me, that was a lot of money to spend. Some people would spend twice, even three times that. But would anyone drop $10,000 on a computer? It looks like someone would.

Called Pure Luxury, this beast of a personal computer starts at $9500 and only goes up when you add options. Inside the unique case is an Intel Core i7 990x Extreme Edition which boasts six cores; two NVIDIA GeForce 580GTX video cards SLI’ed with an option for a third card; 18GB of RAM; solid state drives and hard drives; a Blu-ray disc burner and a range of other options. At least with that very high price tag you get a LIFETIME hardware warranty and LIFETIME 24/7 dedicated phone support.

If spending big is your thing and you want a PC, this might be for you. This is one of those luxury items who are either dedicated or have a lot of money.

Tagged with: big money • luxury items • spending

What Two Million Dollars On Wheels Looks Like

On 02.06.12, In Luxury Food, Luxury Overdose, By HeinreichS

Want to know what spending over two million dollars on a car will net you? Look to the pic on the right. That lovely beauty is the Bugatti Veyron Super Sports, the most expensive street legal car on the market.

This sleek red and black monster can go from 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. Under its hood sits two V8 engines; that’s right two V8 engines. This engine configuration can generate 1200 horsepower; I honestly don’t know of any normal road out there that enable you to fully utilize all 1200 horses. Its maximum speed is 268 MPH; again, what road – besides racing tracks – will allow you to reach this obscene speed?

The overall price might be mind-boggling but you should know the prices for some of the parts. To replace all four wheels you will need to cough up $36,000. If your transmission is a goner you’re going to pay $172,000 to replace it. Ouch.

A car like this requires big money making and spending to drive but if money is no object to you, then go right on ahead and buy it.

Tagged with: big money • forbes • luxury items • rich people things • richest people • saving • spending • wealthy • worth buying

Move Over Champagne, Lambrusco Has Arrived

On 01.06.12, In Luxury Food, Luxury Living, Luxury Overdose, By OrenS

Fancy people consume a lot of champagne. I drink at least 3 bottles a day and I have been since I was 11 years old. I also wash my face and feet in champagne, or rather I have others wash them in champagne for me. But all that is about to change, I am firing my personal staff of 11 people, their children be damned, and I am getting rid of all my champagne. Why you ask? Lambrusco.

Lambrusco is a tasty red sparkling wine presumably from somewhere in Europe, the world capital of fancy rich people things. Technically Lambrusco has not arrived (it has been around for hundreds of years) but I am taking this opportunity to announce to all my fellow 1%ers that it is officially in vogue and the Champagne is dead.

Now it has recently come to my attention that some people reading this blog may be poor. Technically if you make less than $500,000 a year you have no business reading this blog but I am feeling generous so here is a small tid-bit. To experience Lambrusco goodness without the big money price mix vodka, alka seltzer, water and a few table spoons of jam. It is the closest you will come to experiencing the ambrosia known as Lambrusco.

Tagged with: big money • lambrusco • rich people things

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